Essay Evaluation and Feedback

Evaluation Criteria

1. Grammar and Mechanics

   • Correctness of sentence structure, punctuation, and spelling.

2. Factual Correctness

   • Accurate representation of historical events, dates, and principles.

3. Writing Style

   • Clarity, coherence, and appropriate tone for Grade 10 level.

4. Plagiarism

   • Originality of thought and avoidance of copying existing works.

5. Correspondence to Topic

   • Relevance to the assigned subject matter.

6. Math and Calculations

   • Accurate calculations (if any) and proper definitions of terms and concepts.

Essay Assessment

Content

The essay discusses the landmark Supreme Court case of Brown v. Board of Education (BOE), focusing on its implications for equal protection under the law and the issue of racial segregation in public schools. However, several points need clarification and correction:

Factual Correctness:

• The case name should be fully referenced as “Brown v. Board of Education.”
• The 14th Amendment guarantees equal protection under the law, but it is critical to note that the violation of this protection stemmed from Plessy v. Ferguson (1896), which upheld segregation laws until Brown v. Board of Education in 1954 ruled otherwise.
• The phrase "African America" should be corrected to "African Americans."

Writing Style:

• The tone is generally appropriate for Grade 10; however, further elaboration on the implications of the ruling and its historical context would enhance the essay’s depth.
• The sentence structure is simplistic and would benefit from a more varied style, incorporating complex sentences to convey ideas more effectively.

Grammar and Mechanics:

• The essay contains a few grammatical errors. For example, in “Chief Justice Warren ruled that segregated schools were unequal,” there should be without the space before "that.” Additionally, "motivation for change" could be phrased as "there was motivation for change among the population."

Plagiarism:

• The ideas presented seem original, but it's recommended to ensure that even common facts are paraphrased adequately to avoid unintentional plagiarism.

Correspondence to Topic:

• The essay corresponds well with the topic of civil rights and education reform, but it would benefit from examples of the activists and the changes they drove post-ruling.

Overall Grade

Given the criteria above, the essay exhibits sound knowledge of the historical context but falls short in precise execution and depth. I would rate this essay as a C (2.5 out of 4).

Tips for Improvement

1. Expand Your Research:

   • Include more detailed historical context and key events surrounding the case. Understand the broader implications of the ruling and its impact on civil rights.

2. Vary Sentence Structure:

   • Experiment with complex and compound sentences to create a more engaging writing style.

3. Proofread for Grammar:

   • Always revise your essays for grammar and clarity. Consider using tools like grammar checkers or asking a peer to review your work.

4. Cite Your Sources:

   • Always give credit to sources of ideas or direct quotes. If you're unsure, consult guidelines on how to properly attribute information.

5. Practice Summarizing:

   • Try summarizing complex topics in your own words. This will strengthen your understanding and improve the originality of your writing.

6. Use Specific Examples:

   • Incorporate more specifics, such as names of key figures, organizations, or subsequent legislation that resulted from the ruling. This improves the depth and relevance of your essay.

By following these tips and addressing the points outlined in your evaluation, you can enhance your writing skills and produce more compelling essays in the future.