Evaluation of the Essay on "The Bluest Eye" and "Monument"

Criteria for Evaluation

1. Grammar and Syntax

   • Correctness of sentence structure, punctuation, and word choice.

2. Factual Correctness

   • Verification of dates, events, and facts mentioned in the essay.
   • Accuracy of literary references and themes.

3. Writing Style

   • Clarity, coherence, and overall flow of the essay.
   • Use of academic language appropriate for Grade 11.

4. Plagiarism

   • Originality of content and proper citation of sources.

5. Correspondence to the Topic

   • Relevance to the assigned topic of literary analysis of "The Bluest Eye."

6. Definitions and Terminology

   • Appropriate use of literary terms and concepts.

7. Length and Structure

   • Adherence to the required length (approximately 500 words).

Evaluation of the Essay

1. Grammar and Syntax

The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that disrupt its overall flow. For example:

• The phrase "the looks of white people are better than the ones of black people" could be more succinctly expressed.
• There are instances of incomplete sentences and missing punctuation.

Score: 3/5

2. Factual Correctness

The essay mentions that "The Bluest Eye" was published in 1970 and is based in 1940, which is correct. It also references "My Mother Dreams Another Country" occurring in 1966 accurately, linking it correctly to the Civil Rights Movement. However, the content related to miscegenation laws could benefit from more precise historical context.

Score: 4/5

3. Writing Style

The writing lacks a strong academic tone in parts, using informal phrases. For example, phrases like "look what you…work…get on out.." lack grammatical clarity. The transitions between points could be smoother.

Score: 3/5

4. Plagiarism

While no direct plagiarism is evident in the visible text, quotes from both Morrison and Trethewey are not cited correctly. Proper in-text citations and a works cited page are essential in academic writing.

Score: 2/5

5. Correspondence to the Topic

The essay provides a relevant analysis of "The Bluest Eye" and connects it with Trethewey's poetry effectively. However, the focus occasionally shifts and could delve deeper into specific literary elements rather than summarizing plots.

Score: 4/5

6. Definitions and Terminology

The essay employs literary terms such as imagery, diction, and allusion correctly but could further elaborate on their significance in relation to the texts discussed. The use of the term "miscegenation" is appropriate, but the essay could benefit from a brief definition.

Score: 4/5

7. Length and Structure

While the essay appears to be structured well into paragraphs, it does not meet the required length of approximately 500 words. As presented, the essay seems closer to 350 words, indicating the need for further expansion on the analysis.

Score: 2/5

Overall Assessment

Total Score: 22/35

Final Thoughts

The essay displays a reasonable understanding of the underlying themes in "The Bluest Eye" and "Monument." However, it requires improved grammatical precision, clearer transitions, proper citations, and expansion to meet the word requirement. Suggestions for improvement include deeper analysis of literary devices, clearer structure, and adherence to academic standards for referencing.

Suggested Improvements

• Revise for grammar and clarity.
• Ensure all direct quotes are cited correctly.
• Expand the analysis to meet the required length of 500 words.
• Include a works cited section for all referenced texts.