Evaluation of the Student's Written Assignment

Assessment Criteria

To evaluate the student's assignment, the following criteria based on the Grade 6 English standards will be used:

1. Grammar and Mechanics: Correctness of spelling, punctuation, and grammar.
2. Factual Correctness: Accuracy of dates, events, mathematical calculations, and definitions of terms.
3. Writing Style: Appropriateness of language and tone for the intended audience.
4. Cohesion and Structure: Use of cohesive devices and organizational structures to link ideas.
5. Use of Evidence: Effective selection and integration of evidence from the text to support points.
6. Literary Features: Identification and analysis of literary devices and language features.

Evaluation

1. Grammar and Mechanics

• Comment: The text contains several grammatical errors, including punctuation and sentence structure. For example, "thats" should be "that's" and "Im" should be "I'm." There are also instances of missing commas, especially before quotations, and some run-on sentences.
• Rating: Needs Improvement

2. Factual Correctness

• Comment: The context provided regarding the setting (Poland during World War II) is correct. However, some details, such as specific page numbers and chapters cited, should be checked for accuracy against the text. The text incorrectly labels "world war 2" without proper capitalization ("World War II"). Additionally, the mention of "carrots" should clarify its symbolic meaning more effectively.
• Rating: Satisfactory with Minor Corrections Needed

3. Writing Style

• Comment: The language used is mostly appropriate for a Year 6 audience. The style can be engaging; however, some areas are overly informal, such as "this is a very boring topic." A more objective tone would be better suited for an academic presentation.
• Rating: Satisfactory with Room for Improvement

4. Cohesion and Structure

• Comment: The assignment presents ideas in a somewhat coherent manner, but the organization could be improved. Transition phrases between paragraphs could better link the ideas. The conclusion briefly summarizes the themes but could further emphasize the key ideas about how Gleitzman uses the literary devices.
• Rating: Needs Improvement

5. Use of Evidence

• Comment: The examples from the text support the arguments made but sometimes lack context or explanation. For instance, there is a missed opportunity to explain how the metaphor "Books are my life" relates to Felix's experiences beyond just his parents being bookkeepers. Overall, the use of quotations is commendable but could be explained more thoroughly.
• Rating: Satisfactory with Need for Deeper Analysis

6. Literary Features

• Comment: The student identifies various literary devices, including first-person narrative, foreshadowing, symbolism, metaphors, similes, and personification. However, more detailed analysis of how these features contribute to thematic development is needed for a stronger argument.
• Rating: Satisfactory with Room for Expansion

Overall Assessment

• Overall Rating: Satisfactory with room for improvement in grammar, cohesiveness, and depth of analysis.

Tips for Improvement

1. Grammar Practice: Review grammar rules, particularly focusing on punctuation and sentence structure.
2. Evidence Integration: When quoting from a text, always explain the significance of the quote and how it relates to your argument.
3. Formal Tone: Aim for a more formal tone in academic writing. Avoid casual phrases.
4. Cohesion: Use transitional words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
5. Deeper Analysis: Go beyond identifying literary devices—explain their significance to the themes and emotions in the text.
6. Proofreading: Always proofread your work for spelling, punctuation, and clarity before submission.

By focusing on these areas, you will enhance your writing skills and deepen your understanding of literary analysis. Keep practicing, and don't hesitate to ask for feedback!