Evaluation of Written Assignment
Criteria for Evaluation
- Grammar and Syntax
- Factual Correctness
- Writing Style
- Plagiarism Check
- Correspondence to Topic
- Math Calculations and Definitions
1. Grammar and Syntax
Rating: 3/5
- The essay has several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example:
- "just for maintain myself healthy" should be "just to maintain my health."
- "makes exercise so fun and amusement" is awkward; it could be rephrased to "makes exercising fun and enjoyable."
- "whenever you feel to" should be "whenever you feel like it."
- Some punctuation issues exist, such as the incorrect use of commas and semicolons.
2. Factual Correctness
Rating: 4/5
- The student accurately describes the app’s features. However, the specifics of pricing may not be current as app prices can change over time. Verification of the current pricing ($20/month and $80/year for Premium) against a reliable source is necessary.
- The essay does not substantiate the results of muscle gain, which could better inform the reader about realistic expectations.
3. Writing Style
Rating: 3/5
- The writing tone is appropriate for a Grade 5 student, but some phrases could be more polished to enhance clarity.
- The use of informal language (e.g., "big of a deal") could discourage a more professional tone, but for this age group, it might be acceptable.
- Paragraphs could be better structured for flow, with clearer topic sentences and conclusions.
4. Plagiarism Check
Rating: 5/5
- The text appears original, lacking any obvious signs of plagiarism. No specific phrases or sentences strongly suggest copying from other sources (though this cannot be definitively verified without reference software).
5. Correspondence to Topic
Rating: 5/5
- The essay stays on topic regarding reviewing MyFitnessPal and discussing its pros and cons as a fitness app. The student’s personal experience adds to the credibility of the review.
6. Math Calculations and Definitions
Rating: 3/5
- The student's pricing of the app provides mathematical accuracy based on what was stated but should be verified. No complex math was required.
- Terminology used (e.g., "calorie tracking," "inner barcode scanner") is correct but needs clearer definitions to enhance understanding for younger readers.
Overall Score: 23/30
Comments:
The essay presents a clear overview of MyFitnessPal and shares personal insights that are relevant and well-suited for a Grade 5 audience. However, improvements in grammar, more accurate and current details regarding pricing, and enhanced writing structure would greatly strengthen the work. To elevate the writing further, the student should focus on refining sentences for clarity and coherence. Additionally, brief definitions for complex terms would benefit readers unfamiliar with fitness jargon.
Suggested Improvements:
- Revise for grammar and sentence structure.
- Verify app pricing information before inclusion.
- Consider rephrasing informal expressions and enhancing formality slightly while keeping it age-appropriate.
- Add brief definitions for terms pertaining to nutrition and fitness to aid understanding.