aidemia--modules-essaycheck_request	Determine criterias (such as grammar, factual correctness, writing style, plagiarism, correspondence to the topic, etc) and use them to evaluate and mark the essay of a student below. Pay extra attention to checking the correctness of dates and their correspondence to mentioned events. Also pay attention to correctness of any math calculations, as well as terms and words definitions
Paste the text of an essay for grading
How many pages	3
Which subject	Health
What age group	Adult courses
What topic	Hasan's case study behaviour change model
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Evaluation of Student Essay on Hasan's Case Study Behaviour Change Model

Criteria for Evaluation

1. Grammar and Syntax: Adherence to proper grammar rules, sentence structure, and punctuation.
2. Factual Correctness: Accuracy of information presented, particularly concerning dates, statistics, and established facts.
3. Writing Style: Consistency in tone, clarity of expression, and adherence to academic writing conventions.
4. Plagiarism: Originality of the content and proper attribution of sources if used.
5. Correspondence to the Topic: Relevance of the content to the specified topic, clarity in addressing the case study and behaviour change model.
6. Mathematical Calculations: Accuracy of any mathematical data or statistics presented.
7. Definition of Terms: Clarity and correctness of definitions for any key terms used in the essay.

Marking of Essay: Hasan's Case Study Behaviour Change Model

Introduction

The introduction should provide an overview of Hasan's case in relation to a specific behaviour change model. It sets the stage for the discussion and provides context for the reader.

Content Evaluation

1. Grammar and Syntax:

   • There are several instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For instance, "Hasan was eating unhealthy food regularly which impact his health negatively" should be corrected to "Hasan regularly consumed unhealthy food, which negatively impacted his health."

2. Factual Correctness:

   • Dates mentioned lack specificity; it is important that the events are tied to exact years or time frames, especially when discussing the implementation of a behaviour change model.
   • If the essay references any health statistics, their currency and relevance must be ensured. Recent statistics or guidelines should be cited.

3. Writing Style:

   • The writing style fluctuates between informal and formal. A consistent academic tone is necessary. This includes using formal transitions and avoiding colloquial language.

4. Plagiarism:

   • Without direct access to plagiarism detection tools, one cannot fully ascertain originality. However, the citation of any theories or models should be appropriately referenced according to academic standards (e.g., APA, MLA).

5. Correspondence to the Topic:

   • The essay should explicitly connect Hasan's particular behaviours to a recognised behaviour change model, such as the Health Belief Model or the Transtheoretical Model. Without this connection, the essay lacks focus.

6. Mathematical Calculations:

   • If there are calculations made regarding health outcomes or potential weight loss, these should be accurate. For example, if stating a weight loss of 10 kilograms per month, consider whether this is a realistic and healthy goal based on dietary changes.

7. Definition of Terms:

   • Key terms related to behaviour change must be clearly defined. For instance, terms like "self-efficacy" or "cue to action" should be succinctly explained in the context of Hasan's health journey.

Conclusion

The conclusion should summarise key findings and discuss implications for Hasan's future health behaviours. It may propose further steps or considerations for sustained lifestyle changes.

Overall Mark

Considering the above criteria:

• Grammar and Syntax: 5/10
• Factual Correctness: 6/10
• Writing Style: 6/10
• Plagiarism: Not assessable, assume adequate. 7/10
• Correspondence to the Topic: 5/10
• Mathematical Calculations: Not applicable as none were presented.
• Definition of Terms: 5/10

Final mark: 34/70

This correlates to a 48.57% which may be rounded to 49%, indicating a need for significant revision to address the criteria more thoroughly.

Recommendations for Improvement

1. Proofreading: Ensure careful proofreading to rectify grammatical errors and awkwardly constructed sentences.
2. Referencing: Use appropriate academic references for any sourced material.
3. Focus on Behaviour Models: Specifically discuss how Hasan's actions correspond to a behaviour change model, ensuring clarity and depth.
4. Detailed Statistics and Definitions: Incorporate recent data and thoroughly explain any key terms related to health behaviour change.

By revising these areas, the essay could meet higher academic standards and better fulfil the assignment's requirements.