Evaluation of the Written Assignment: "A Letter to Mom"

Evaluation Criteria

1. Grammar and Syntax: Assessing sentence structure, punctuation, and overall grammatical accuracy.
2. Factual Correctness: Verifying the correctness of dates, events, calculations, as well as the accuracy of any referenced information.
3. Writing Style: Consideration of tone, voice, and clarity of expression, especially in relation to the target audience (Grade 11).
4. Plagiarism: Checking for originality and the proper citation of any sources.
5. Correspondence to the Topic: Ensuring that the content pertains to the assigned topic of writing a letter to a mother.
6. Coherence and Structure: Evaluating the organization of ideas, flow of paragraphs, and overall cohesiveness.

Evaluation Summary

Grammar and Syntax

• Strengths: The writing showcases a personal and expressive tone appropriate for a letter.
• Weaknesses: There are numerous grammatical errors including:
  • “this letter is for my mother. Becoming a young person” (incorrect comma use, fragment)
  • Several run-on sentences that could be broken down for clarity.
  • Incorrect verb forms and missing conjunctions ("…was coming up, wanted to wear…" lacks a subject).

Factual Correctness

• The piece lacks specific dates and factual references, such as the mention of typical school years or relevant events in the context of a teenager’s life.
• While no mathematical calculations were provided, the mention of percentages or grades (e.g., “passing each of our classes”) could have been more specific.

Writing Style

• Strengths: The voice appears authentic and emotional, typical of a young adult expressing thoughts to a parent.
• Weaknesses: Some ideas are not fully developed, and transitions between ideas can be abrupt or disjointed, which makes it hard to follow the narrative.

Plagiarism

• There is an included quote from a magazine without proper citation. Even though it contributes to the narrative, it must be formatted correctly according to the chosen citation style.

Correspondence to the Topic

• The letter mostly aligns with the topic, expressing the thoughts and feelings of a teenager. However, it can benefit from a clearer structure typical of a letter format.

Coherence and Structure

• The assignment seems to lack a clear beginning, middle, and end. There's an informal flow, but it could be better organized to maintain focus on the letter-writing format.

Overall Mark:

C (70%) – The assignment shows potential but requires substantial improvements in grammar, structure, coherence, and the incorporation of factual data.

Tips for Improvement

1. Grammar Practice: Regularly review the rules of grammar and syntax. Consider utilizing grammar-check software to refine your writing.

2. Structured Writing: Familiarize yourself with the structure of formal letters and ensure each letter includes an introduction, body, and conclusion.

3. Cohesive Flow: Use topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to clarify the main idea and improve transitions between thoughts.

4. Research and Citation: When incorporating quotes or information from other sources, ensure proper citation to avoid plagiarism. Learn standard formatting styles (APA, MLA, etc.).

5. Specificity in Details: Whenever possible, include specific examples, dates, or details that enhance the narrative and make it more engaging.

6. Peer Review: Before submitting, have a peer review your work. Fresh eyes can catch errors you might have overlooked.

7. Writing Practice: Regular writing exercises on diverse topics can enhance your style and fluency. Consider journaling or creative writing prompts to expand your skills.

8. Feedback Utilization: Use feedback from teachers or mentors to identify areas needing improvement and focus on those in future assignments.

By applying these tips and making the suggested changes, your writing can improve significantly and better convey your intended message.