Evaluation of Student Essay on "The American Dream in The Great Gatsby"

Criteria for Evaluation

1. Grammar: Analysis of grammatical correctness, including sentence structure and punctuation.
2. Factual Correctness: Checking historical facts, dates, and references to events and quotes.
3. Writing Style: Assessing coherence, flow, and appropriate academic tone.
4. Plagiarism: Ensuring the content is original and not directly lifted from sources.
5. Correspondence to Topic: Evaluating whether the essay responds directly to the given prompt or theme.

Evaluation

Grammar

• Overall, the grammar in the essay is strong. The use of complex sentences is effective and enhances the academic tone.
• Minor punctuation issues include the inconsistent use of commas, particularly with clauses. For example, "hard work, determination and ambition" should have a serial comma before "and".

Factual Correctness

• The essay accurately references key events and themes in The Great Gatsby.
• The dates mentioned (the 1920s, Gatsby's five-year wait for Daisy, and specific chapters for quotes) align correctly with the text.
• However, there is a minor error in the page numbers. Fitzgerald's work is often cited with different editions, so specific page numbers should be verified against the edition used.

Writing Style

• The writing style is formal and appropriate for a Year 11 English paper.
• Paragraphs are well-structured, each focusing on a central idea related to the thesis.
• The essay is cohesive, transitioning smoothly between concepts like Gatsby's pursuit of love, the symbolism of wealth, and the critique of class barriers.

Plagiarism

• The essay appears original, with ideas and arguments articulated in the student's own voice. Care should be taken to ensure that all quotations are properly attributed and that paraphrased ideas are expressed uniquely.

Correspondence to Topic

• The essay effectively addresses the topic of the American Dream as depicted in The Great Gatsby.
• Each section relates back to the main thesis, analysing how Fitzgerald critiques the notion of the American Dream through various characters and symbols.

Overall Impression

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of The Great Gatsby and its critique of the American Dream.

Marking

Based on the criteria outlined, I would mark this essay as follows:

• Grammar: 8/10
• Factual Correctness: 9/10
• Writing Style: 9/10
• Plagiarism: 10/10
• Correspondence to Topic: 9/10

Total Score: 45/50

Recommendations for Improvement

1. Grammar: Pay attention to the use of commas, particularly in lists and complex sentences.
2. Factual Accuracy: Double-check specific page numbers against the edition of The Great Gatsby being referenced.
3. Depth of Analysis: Consider deepening the analysis of how Fitzgerald’s critique of the American Dream resonates with contemporary society, which would enhance the conclusion.

---

In summary, the essay is a strong academic piece demonstrating a solid understanding of Fitzgerald's work and its themes. With minor improvements, it could achieve an even higher mark.