Essay Evaluation

Criterias

1. Grammar: Analyze the grammatical correctness of sentences, including punctuation, sentence structure, and overall coherence.
2. Factual Correctness: Ensure that the content is factually accurate and consistent, especially concerning dates, events, and definitions.
3. Writing Style: Assess the use of language, style, tone, and suitability for the academic level (Year 11).
4. Plagiarism: Check for originality and the presence of any uncredited or properly cited ideas or phrases.
5. Correspondence to Topic: Evaluate how well the essay responds to the prompt: "How does the writer use language to describe the orchard?"
6. Mathematical Calculations: Verify any numerical information or mathematical references, ensuring accuracy.
7. Definitions of Terms: Assess the correct definition and use of any specific terms or concepts mentioned in the essay.

---

Evaluation of the Essay

1. Grammar

The essay demonstrates a strong command of English grammar. Sentences are well-structured, and punctuation is used correctly. However, there is a small typographical error in the final sentence (should not start with a period). The use of commas is also effective in adding rhythm to the writing.

2. Factual Correctness

There are no specific factual references to dates or events, as the essay appears to be descriptive and metaphorical. The emotional connections presented are valid and appropriate. No mathematical calculations were present to assess. The description aligns well with common literary techniques.

3. Writing Style

The writing style is expressive and evocative, which is suitable for Year 11 students exploring descriptive language. The use of metaphors, imagery, and personification enhances the overall aesthetic of the piece. Phrases like "the orchard wore its quiet like a secret" and "its faded edges the only tangible link" showcase a mature grasp of creative writing.

4. Plagiarism

There are no indications that the essay contains plagiarized material. The language and phrases used reflect original thought and creativity, with no direct quotations or phrases taken from other sources without acknowledgement.

5. Correspondence to Topic

The essay effectively addresses the topic, as it explores how language is used to paint a vivid picture of the orchard. Descriptive language, sensuous imagery, and personification are effectively employed to convey the atmosphere of the orchard, thus enhancing the reader's visual experience.

6. Mathematical Calculations

No mathematical calculations were present in the essay.

7. Definitions of Terms

The terms used in the essay are appropriate and suitably defined through the context of the writing. The word "orchard" is implicitly understood as a cultivated area of trees, which aligns with the essay’s descriptions.

---

Overall Marking

Grade: A

Comments: The essay excels in descriptive language, effectively engaging the reader's senses and emotions to depict the orchard. The grammar and style are commendable, with room for minor typographical corrections. It stays focused on the topic while displaying creativity and originality. To enhance the essay further, the student could consider incorporating a deeper personal reflection or thematic element regarding the significance of the orchard and its relation to Clara’s journey.

Suggested Improvements

• Correct the misplaced punctuation at the beginning of the last section.
• Consider adding a thesis statement or a concluding reflection to tie the themes of the orchard back to Clara's emotional journey.

Overall, this is a strong piece of writing showcasing the student's ability to use language effectively in a descriptive context.