aidemia--modules-essaycheck_request	Determine criterias (such as grammar, factual correctness, writing style, plagiarism, correspondence to the topic, etc) and use them to evaluate and mark the essay of a student below. Pay extra attention to checking the correctness of dates and their correspondence to mentioned events. Also pay attention to correctness of any math calculations, as well as terms and words definitions
Paste the text of an essay for grading	If someone were to ask me who’s my historical hero, I'll say my godfather, and if they ask why I'll say my godfather was one of the most caring and heartfilled people you'll ever come across. My godfather’s name was Vashawn Tate but we called him “Bear”, he was born January 31, 1987. I’ve learned to love more and more about him listening to stories my mom would tell about him and her when they were younger. She still has a video of him singing about seafood stuffed bell peppers on her phone. She would tell me how when he was only 4 years old his father moved and took him from New Orleans to Chicago, the family didn't see him for years. Finally when he was 16 years old he moved back to New Orleans with his mom, who is my aunt. When he came home, him and my mom instantly gained that bond again and became inseparable. She would tell stories about them attending high school together and how he played football. My godfather was a jokester and had the biggest cheeks with the biggest smile that would brighten up any dark day. We would freestyle rap and have so much fun. He graduated from John McDough in 2005 and that’s when he moved in with us. I would always stay up laughing and listening to them make up “conspiracy theories” as they would call it, asking each other stuff like, “How do you know a tree is a tree?”. They would keep naming stuff and they would sit there and laugh at each other’s silliness. My godfather wasn't a mean man. He wasn’t selfish nor stubborn and he loved his family members dearly but when it came down to me, he treated me like I was a kid of his own. Then one day my mom was coming out of surgery after cutting her hand and she got the saddest phone call we could have received and all my happy days with my godfather had come to an end. Someone shot him 5 times while he was walking home and one of those went in his head. He fought long and hard because it wasn't his body it was his brain as the doctors put it. He eventually passed away on December 17, 2017 after we had to make one of the toughest decisions of our life, to pull the plug. The last time I had a conversation with him was on thanksgiving day. My godfather was never the threatening type or the type of guy that makes you just want to up and kill him and my everyday question is “why him?” I really wish I could talk to my godfather today and show him all the good things I have accomplished but nothing stops me from telling my godfather how I'm feeling and letting him know how proud he would be. Everytime i think about the time i saw him in the hospital bed, it breaks me down because i would've never thought i'll be seeing my godfather at his lowest and in so much pain, but my godfather fought a strong battle for two straight weeks and we sat in that room singing to him telling him jokes and we also watch the saints game while holding his hand and I knew he could hear us because he would blink and a tear would drop down his face. It hurts me everyday to know that my godfather wouldn't see his only goddaughter walking across the stage completing high school with her diploma, he’ll have the biggest smile on his face and he’ll give me the biggest hug ever.
How many pages	1
Which subject	English
What age group	College
What topic	My Hero
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Evaluation of Student Essay: "My Hero"

Criteria for Evaluation

1. Grammar and Mechanics

   • Sentence structure and punctuation.
   • Use of capitalization and abbreviations.
   • Spelling and word choice.

2. Factual Correctness

   • Accuracy of dates and events.
   • Correctness of names and terms.

3. Writing Style

   • Clarity and coherence of ideas.
   • Tone and engagement with the audience.

4. Plagiarism

   • Originality of content and voice.

5. Correspondence to the Topic

   • Relevance to the assigned topic "My Hero."
   • Depth of exploration of the subject.

6. Mathematical Calculations (if applicable)

   • Accuracy of any numerical descriptions or calculations.

Evaluation Results

Grammar and Mechanics

• The essay contains several grammatical issues, particularly in sentence structure. For example, sentences such as "my godfather was one of the most caring and heartfilled people" should use "heartfelt" instead of "heartfilled."
• The use of commas can be improved for clarity. For instance, "My godfather’s name was Vashawn Tate but we called him 'Bear'" would benefit from a comma before 'but.'
• There are instances of run-on sentences, shown in multiple places where the author continues sentences without appropriate punctuation.

Score: 5/10

Factual Correctness

• The essay mentions that Vashawn Tate was born on January 31, 1987, and passed away on December 17, 2017. If these dates are accurate, they appropriately align with the narrative.
• The reference to his graduation year (2005) aligns with the timeline provided.

Score: 8/10

Writing Style

• The essay maintains a personal and emotional tone, befitting the topic. However, it lacks a clear thesis statement or structured outline, leading to a somewhat disorganized presentation of thoughts.
• Transitions between ideas and events can be abrupt, which could confuse the reader.

Score: 6/10

Plagiarism

• The content appears original and personal, focusing on the sentimental aspects of the student’s relationship with their godfather.

Score: 10/10

Correspondence to the Topic

• The essay aligns well with the topic "My Hero," centering on the student's godfather's impact on their life. The emotional depth is commendable, though a bit more structural clarity would enhance the message.

Score: 8/10

Mathematical Calculations

• There are no mathematical calculations involved in this narrative.

Score: N/A

Overall Score

Score: 37/60

Suggestions for Improvement

1. Revise for Grammar and Style:

   • Pay close attention to sentence structure. Consider using shorter sentences where appropriate.
   • Use punctuation effectively to improve the flow of ideas.

2. Add a Clear Thesis Statement:

   • Introduce the essay with a statement that encapsulates who your hero is and why.

3. Organize Ideas Logically:

   • Use paragraphs to separate different themes or sections of your narrative. This can help guide the reader through your experiences and emotions.

4. Practice Transition Sentences:

   • Improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs by adding transition phrases that guide the reader from one point to the next.

5. Proofread Your Work:

   • Always revise your essay for grammatical errors and ensure the facts align with what you want to convey. Reading your work aloud can help you catch mistakes.

By addressing these suggestions, your writing will become more engaging and clearer, ultimately strengthening your message.