Language: The language used in the essay is informal and lacks clarity. It would benefit from a more academic tone, with crisper sentence structures and fewer colloquialisms.
Factual Correctness: The essay does not provide any concrete examples of how the student achieved their academic success or the specific ways they pursued their dreams. It would benefit from more specific examples and details to strengthen the narrative.
Correspondence to Topic: The essay begins by discussing the student's desire to be the best but then quickly turns to a personal anecdote about their struggles in school. While the story is interesting, it is not directly related to the theme of being the best.
Plagiarism: There is no apparent plagiarism in the essay.
Formatting: The essay lacks proper formatting, with no clear headings or paragraph breaks. It would benefit from more logical organization and structure.
Math Calculations: There are no math calculations in the essay.
Terms and Words Definitions: The essay does not include any specialized terminology or definitions.
In conclusion, the essay could benefit from significant revisions to improve its clarity, coherence, and adherence to the chosen topic. There are areas that require clarification, such as providing specific examples of the student's academic pursuits. The language used should also be more academic, and the organization of the essay would benefit from more logical formatting.