Evaluation of Written Assignment

Criteria for Evaluation

1. Grammar and Spelling:

   • Check for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.

2. Factual Correctness:

   • Verify the accuracy of events, dates, and details mentioned in the narrative.

3. Writing Style:

   • Assess the coherence and flow of the writing style appropriate for a Year 6 student.

4. Plagiarism:

   • Ensure the content is original and not copied from other sources.

5. Correspondence to Topic:

   • Confirm that the writing aligns with the chosen topic of Personal Narratives.

6. Math Calculations:

   • Check for any numerical correctness if calculations are made (although none are present).

7. Definitions and Terminology:

   • Ensure that terms used are defined correctly and understood by a Year 6 audience.

Evaluation Results

1. Grammar and Spelling: B

• Minor grammatical mistakes include issues with comma placement and spacing (e.g., "Asha, Aria(Asha's older sister)...", "the pub at the bottom of the mountain for lunch").
• Some sentences could be better structured for clarity.

2. Factual Correctness: A

• The narrative revolves around a birthday celebration at Perisher, a known ski destination in Australia, which fits the context well.
• No specific dates are mentioned, which makes it impossible to evaluate exact historical accuracy.

3. Writing Style: B

• The style is engaging and captures the excitement of a birthday.
• Some transitions between events could be smoother; for example, moving from lunch to the cake celebration felt abrupt.

4. Plagiarism: A

• The content appears original; no signs of plagiarism detected.

5. Correspondence to Topic: A

• The narrative appropriately fits the theme of personal experiences and feelings related to a birthday.

6. Math Calculations: N/A

• No numerical calculations used in the narrative.

7. Definitions and Terminology: B

• Skiing terms like "ski lifts" and "snowboarders" are used correctly. Some expressions, like "world's best hot chocolate," could be construed as hyperbolic but appropriate in a narrative context.

Overall Mark: B+

The student's narrative is well-written with an engaging style fitting for a Year 6 assignment. However, improvements can be made in grammar and clarity.

Tips for Improvement

1. Proofreading: Always proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors. Reading it out loud can help catch mistakes.

2. Sentence Structure: Work on varying your sentences to improve flow. Try combining shorter sentences for better readability.

3. Transitions: Use transition words (e.g., "next," "afterwards," "then") to create smoother connections between events.

4. Details and Clarity: Provide clear details about events, such as what made a moment special, rather than just stating what happened.

5. Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to express feelings and experiences. This can make your writing more lively and engaging.

6. Keep Practicing: Continue writing personal narratives about different experiences to practice your storytelling skills. Each narrative can teach you something new!

7. Seek Feedback: Share your stories with friends, family, or teachers for feedback. They can offer helpful suggestions for improvement.

Keep up the wonderful writing, Ava! Your ability to capture emotions in your narrative will continue to grow with practice. Happy writing!