To assess the essay, the following criteria will be utilized:
The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical correctness. However, certain sentences could benefit from rephrasing for clarity. For example:
The essay cites a study from Cambridge University stating that "8 in 10 boxers have experienced injuries that have had an effect on their day-to-day life." While this statistic is impactful, the authenticity of the source should be verified. Given the lack of citation details, it's challenging to confirm its accuracy.
The writing style is appropriate for Year 11 students, effectively utilising emotive language to engage the audience. The rhetorical questions enhance the persuasive aspect; however, moderation in the use of such questions would reinforce rather than overwhelm the argument.
The content appears original; however, without the ability to access external sources, cross-referencing with established literature or databases for textual similarities would be required to assess this definitively.
The essay directly addresses the topic by discussing the dangers of boxing and advocating for its ban. The argument is consistent throughout and remains focused on the moral implications of the sport.
The statistic mentioned lacks context (e.g., year of study) and its mathematical soundness cannot be evaluated unless cited correctly. The essay does not present any calculations, so this criterion does not apply.
Key terms, such as "boxing," "injuries," and "violence," are referenced but not defined. It may enhance the argument to provide more context on the long-term health risks associated with boxing or definitions around competitive contact sports.
Based on the criteria outlined, I would assign the following marks out of 10 for each category:
| Criteria | Mark (Out of 10) |
|---|---|
| Grammar and Syntax | 7 |
| Factual Correctness | 6 |
| Writing Style | 8 |
| Plagiarism | N/A |
| Correspondence to Topic | 9 |
| Mathematical Accuracy | N/A |
| Definition of Terms | 6 |
Overall, this essay effectively communicates a strong perspective against boxing. Strengthening grammatical structure, verifying factual claims, and providing definitions for critical concepts would enhance the overall argument.
Score: 36/50
The essay is a fair representation of Year 11 standards for English non-fiction writing. Further refinement and sourcing would boost its academic integrity and persuasive power.