The essay is generally well-written, employing clear sentences and proper punctuation. Sentence structure varies appropriately, making the text engaging and easy to read. However, minor grammatical errors such as the inconsistent use of commas in compound sentences should be addressed.
The essay references historical events like the Second World War between 1939 and 1945 correctly. However, the date of the King James Version of the Bible is cited as 1769, while it was first published in 1611. The reference to Thomas Aquinas's Summa Theologica is accurate, but the citation style used is not consistent with UK academic standards.
The writing style is appropriate for a Year 11 audience; it is formal yet accessible. The essay maintains an academic tone while effectively engaging with complex ideas. However, some sentences could be simplified to ensure all readers grasp the concepts being discussed.
The essay appears to reflect the student's own understanding and synthesis of philosophical concepts, rather than copying other works verbatim. Proper citations are provided for quoted material, which indicates that the student has engaged with the sources rather than simply reproducing them.
The essay addresses the topic of morality in the context of killing, particularly in war. It successfully explores various philosophical perspectives on the topic, including Just War Theory, utilitarianism, and deontological ethics. The conclusion aptly summarizes the key points while reinforcing the paper’s thesis.
While the works cited are relevant and provide a good foundation for the argument, the formatting of citations needs to adhere more closely to UK academic standards. For example, publisher information should be more thoroughly detailed.
There are no mathematical calculations in the essay. However, the logical framework is sound, and the argumentation flows well from premise to conclusion. The logical distinctions made between different ethical theories are effective and clear.
Philosophical terms such as "utilitarianism," "deontological ethics," and "moral injury" are defined or contextualised adequately, allowing even readers unfamiliar with the terms to understand their implications. However, the essay could benefit from additional definitions or explanations, especially regarding complex concepts like “moral injury."
In summary, this essay is a strong exploration of the moral implications of killing in war, rooted in philosophical discourse. With some minor revisions in factual accuracy and citation formatting, it can become an even stronger academic piece suitable for Year 11.